This was so much easier when I was single and orders of magnitude easier before I had kids. I think there are two main parts, in order: I have to believe that I need and am worthy of retreat; and my partner needs to be a partner. (And there needs to be financial means.) Most women I know do the majority of the work, even if the husbands do a fair amount of housework. Many have written about this already, but "the invisible load"—keeping track of everything that's going on, gone on, needs to go on. It's a lot.
But, even short of a partner who picks up that kind of work, they need to be supportive of time away and take care of things in your absence.
SO true, everything - the acknowledging your need, the feeling worthy, partner BEING a partner, and financial resources. And each of these elements arise in often sneaky ways - meaning, even when my partner is being a partner, if I am not owning my feeling worthy of going on a trip/retreat, I have noticed this lack of worthiness has attempted to sabotage in the form of putting off the trip, or some other sneaky way.
What reminds me, though, to actually follow through with whatever form of cocooning or retreating I'm able to muster up, is that I remember how much more solid, centered, and supported I feel when I return. It can serve as a bit of a trick, too, when need be in that I can tell the internal cacophony that the retreat will help me be more helpful to my family, to my work... even though the most important reason is that I need it, I can make it seem "useful" to others as well... I just need to remember it's a trick so I don't buy into me retreating before for someone else.
This was so much easier when I was single and orders of magnitude easier before I had kids. I think there are two main parts, in order: I have to believe that I need and am worthy of retreat; and my partner needs to be a partner. (And there needs to be financial means.) Most women I know do the majority of the work, even if the husbands do a fair amount of housework. Many have written about this already, but "the invisible load"—keeping track of everything that's going on, gone on, needs to go on. It's a lot.
But, even short of a partner who picks up that kind of work, they need to be supportive of time away and take care of things in your absence.
SO true, everything - the acknowledging your need, the feeling worthy, partner BEING a partner, and financial resources. And each of these elements arise in often sneaky ways - meaning, even when my partner is being a partner, if I am not owning my feeling worthy of going on a trip/retreat, I have noticed this lack of worthiness has attempted to sabotage in the form of putting off the trip, or some other sneaky way.
What reminds me, though, to actually follow through with whatever form of cocooning or retreating I'm able to muster up, is that I remember how much more solid, centered, and supported I feel when I return. It can serve as a bit of a trick, too, when need be in that I can tell the internal cacophony that the retreat will help me be more helpful to my family, to my work... even though the most important reason is that I need it, I can make it seem "useful" to others as well... I just need to remember it's a trick so I don't buy into me retreating before for someone else.